“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” -Oscar Wilde There is nothing so lovely as a day with nothing to do when you can put on your pajamas with no make-up and natural hair all day (when you are working … Continue reading
“Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become.” -C.S. Lewis
This quote is beautiful and often times, I find that it is incredibly true as I go about my day and think of Meg and Jo in the kitchen as I use brown sugar, or the little golden sister in the well as I fluff my pillow. At other times I am disillusioned as when I found myself thinking that a recent movie was an adaptation of a Shakespeare play . . . only to be told that the misleadingly-titled flick was actually based on a long forgotten 1980s novel. I also find these allusions unfortunate as when a friend tells me the name of their child, and I cannot help but hope they are not aware of Virginia Woolf’s novel and androgynous hero (or was it a heroine . . .??) bearing the same name. However, some nights my former life as an English grad student haunts my dreams– only last night, I was late in handing in a prodigiously extensive worksheet on Ulysses. This dream was unfair to the actual sheets and to my teacher, but completely accurate concerning my feelings as a fledgling Joyce student.
All of these musings aside, I found that after completing my degree, my former thirst for literature was assuaged for a while. In fact, last year I only read ten books! As my husband and I were considering what we had read last year, I was shocked at how little I chose to read. This event caused me to be analytical of my choices in the last year and allowed me to come up with the following observations (confessions) of life post-grad:
1. I find it difficult to read many books, because I have a need to put out as I take in. I really need to have a little notepad by me as a read so I can jot down thoughts and quotes that I want to think about, but who really does that unless they are preparing for a paper (probably all of the really smart people:). I decided this after finishing three books in January and feeling like I had overeaten. I definitely miss writing papers; however I probably will invest in a notebook and try to be smart instead of actually trying to write a literary critical essay on Divergent and Bringing up Bébé (don’t judge– everyone needs some snacks and something educational every now and then:).
2. I feel panicky when I consider all the books that are out there that I haven’t read . . . and want, NEED to read. I do have a short list for this year, but that respectable list of neglected 19th century authors (yawn) keeps me procrastinating in favor of all these child development books I feel the need to read before mini mack makes his advent. My developmental section is kept in the form of an ever-growing list on Amazon, while my goodreads list idles in the vaults of the web somewhere . . . occasionally they send an email and I feel guilt, because:
3. I need to be reading all these things in case I ever really do go back to school and write a dissertation on how the Imagists might have influenced the Georgians and how that in turn may have influenced the aesthetic of the WWI poets!! This is an unlikely event, but occasionally the ambition resurfaces and causes a flurry of research and a strong desire to name our son Owen (after Wilfred). Of course, there is a battle within me because the lucrative part of my English journey has been the education/ESL side and after a particularly exciting time with a student I will often think, no I want to finish my DELTA and then maybe pursue an Ed.D. . . . more unlikely events, yet this often causes yet another annoying habit:
4. I get distracted mid-conversation by poor grammar. And because of ESL, I need to correct it and figure out how to explain the correction in simple English. This really annoys Tommy sometimes:).
5. I am envious of my school friends who are still pulling all nighters to finish papers. I am also jealous when they get to take classes I particularly wanted to take. This envy inspires dozens of tabs being opened with plans for copious reading at a later date . . .
“Thus shall my anger spend itself, and I will vent my furry upon them and satisfy myself.”
While I was reading this passage yesterday morning, I was struck my one word in it– the word “spend.”
I immediately thought of the third definition– to exhaust, and I thought that the idea of God’s wrath having a end point, was nice, but that probably is not the meaning so, I tried not to think too much on that until I have a chance to study it more; however I did consider that in order for something to spend itself out, there has to be a fixed amount. Like time. Each person has an unknown fixed amount on this earth.
That is a sobering reality.
Because I am getting married this weekend, I think I may be a little more nostalgic than usual (and a little is a lot for me:). I started thinking of so many dear people that didn’t just spend time with me– they invested their time physically–and in prayer– in me– teachers, family, friends. I am so thankful for them.
Two things I am excited about for my wedding are:
1. my something borrowed
I am borrowing a bracelet from the three most influential women in my life, and the most influential woman in Tommy’s life, and I am excited to honor them in that small way.
2. the sixpence
One of the brightest spots during my graduate assistantship was getting to know several wonderful co workers– This truly kindred spirit surprised me by providing the final touch for the rhyme and throwing me a gorgeously fun shower– how cool is that?
I am also for the friends that are traveling a ton of miles to spend Saturday with me and Tommy– it wouldn’t be the same without them!
Happy Proposal Day!! Yet another absurd holiday, but I am a fan of this one:) I was going to write about my engagement story, but I will save that for another day and share some lovely gooey-favorite quotes instead in … Continue reading
Something old, something new Something borrowed, something blue And a silver sixpence in her shoe. I had never heard the last part, but I think it’s a sweet tradition. One I definitely would like to keep (but I don’t need … Continue reading
I like Real Simple. My roommate got it last year and I started being a fan of it sometime around then. She sent me a copy just last month and I read it to pieces before passing it on (I am … Continue reading
So I have been terrible about writing lately! The last week of CELTA combined with several cooking flops made for little time. Well, really this is my last week of CELTA, but I taught my last lesson last week, so … Continue reading
“What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.” ― Katharine Hepburn I was very excited that this recipe turned out! I have had several discouraging flops over the last few weeks, which is why … Continue reading
“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.” ― L.M. Montgomery, The Story Girl Vienna, Austria. That lovely sweet city where the air is crisp and the sunlight seems more springlike in midsummer. I can only speak … Continue reading
“I’m not sentimental–I’m as romantic as you are. The idea, you know, is that the sentimental person thinks things will last–the romantic person has a desperate confidence that they won’t.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise I would call myself … Continue reading
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” -Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own I love that quote! It seems exactly the sort of thing that Virginia and Leonard would have thought (I love referring to … Continue reading